|Video SeriesEverything's Gone Crazy!|
Transcript: Ooh it's been almost 4 weeks since I've made a video. Yeah, it's been 4 months since I've made a video. But I have a relatively ad-hoc solution. Basically I'm going to assume I'm some sort of big TV production and this was my seasonally break. My narcissism makes Charlie Sheen look like an amateur. ... (See More)
Ooh it's been almost 4 weeks since I've made a video. Yeah, it's been 4 months since I've made a video. But I have a relatively ad-hoc solution. Basically I'm going to assume I'm some sort of big TV production and this was my seasonally break. My narcissism makes Charlie Sheen look like an amateur. Bazinga, panda intro! (fail)
New tie. Like it? I do. And it would seem that the whole world has gone crazy. Charlie Sheen, crazy. The technology industry, crazy. The music industry, crazy. Mother nature, crazy. All of these jump cuts that I use, crazy. And I think our friend Charlie Sheen deserves an extra mention 'cause well... he's been extra crazy.
Hmm. What has the technology industry been doing that's so crazy you might ask? Are they offering really cheap services? Eh, no not really. Have they joined the Westburro Baptist Church? I don't think so. Are they killing puppies? No, no haha, they're not killing puppies. It is with a heavy heart - or heavy space roughly here where I think it's meant to go - that I must inform you that... we are now in the post-PC era. Wait, why? Umm, good question, mask of a dog that I might be including in future videos. Well with the release of the iPad 2 which apparently absorbs twice as much blood as the original iPad (so I've been told, that's just an anecdote), umm, PCs are now obsolete. Are you joking? RAWRRRFLL! That is probably one of the weirdest forms of laughter I think I've seen. Erm, perhaps I won't use the dog in future videos. Anyways yes, of course I'm joking. How can a tablet, especially one as inferior as the iPad be the PC killer?! I like my pointing device, I like my keyboard. I like being able to ergonomically do things with speed. The iPad is basically a large version of this, and this, let me tell you about from personal experience - is crap. It is overpriced, overvalued, overestimated. It's shiny, but not functional. Plus it's built on probably one of the most closed in software ecosystem of all time - iTunes. People used to care about Microsoft doing anti-trust, which basically means doing things to stifle competition. The only way to make an application on the iTunes platform is to one, buy a Mac, and two, pay Apple $500 to join their club. I'm going to need to move on.
Everybody's been talking about Charlie Sheen, probably jsut to get more ratings on their own network - I'm no exception, I like hits. In all honesty he's not really doing anything that interesting. He got fired and now he's insulting his boss (who hasn't) he's basically a celebrity drug addict. Basically if Paris Hilton had ever had some sort of job, it would be something like that. Plus apparently he's tested clean in all of his drug tests. People often think I'm on drugs! I think the real story with Charlie Sheen isn't about Charlie Sheen. It's about us. In here, and in here. Oh sorry, that was just too deep for me... too deep (just like your mum keeps telling me).
Oh it seems as if 2012 is coming early. The North east coast of Queensland got hit pretty hard with natural disasters. Then I think a few islands got hit with cyclones. I think there may have been a few more floods somewhere in the world. Pretty sure people are being slaughtered in second and third world countries - that's not really anything new though people do care about it this time which seems to be a positive improvement. Most recently, Japan had what they had coming to them. Yes, that's right some people think that what recently happened in Japan, which in case you've been living under a rock - earthquake, tsunami, nuclear reactor meltdown - is caused by karma for their attack of Pearl Harbour during World War II - something that is obviously being perpetuated by people of the American kind. Ahh, it's kind of sad really. Firstly, it happened 70 years ago, get over your racial hatred of people who are probably dead. Secondly, 2400 people were killed in the Pearl Harbour attacks. Somewhere between 150,000 and 300,000 people were killed in the bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima - that's not even counting the people who have died generations onward from radiation poisoning. Thirdly, even if they hadn't, would that still justify some sort of natural disaster? That's pretty much like the entire world punishing Mongolia for Genghis Khan's 13th century Empire, or punishing Italians for all the people killed in the reign of the Roman Empire. But I'm getting too political so I should probably stop.
And finally, the music industry - you didn't think I'd forgotten about you, had you? As if pop music couldn't possibly have gotten any worse, we have two new contenders to take top spot beating Justin Bieber's "Baby" as worst song of all time. "Channel and look what I see. Hannah Montana's wearing my jeans. Ashley Teesdale's wearing my jeans. Kiki Palmer's wearing my jeans. I just can't believe they wore those jeans like me". Calm down I also have a pair of jeans. "She should be posted in a magazine. Matter of fact, let me get my phone, you can strike a pose, smile for the camera, freeze, what, [someone] bought a new Blackberry?". Wait, that kid still uses a Blackberry? And contender #2 "I see my friends. Kick it in the front seat". Wait a second, is that kid old enough to drive? I'd like to see his permit. "I got this, you got this, now you know it. Kick it in the front seat, sitting in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up, which seat can I take?". Just take the back seat, there's no room in the front. "Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards". They really need to stop auto-tuning.
Until next time, I'm Billy Moffat - and life is so much simpler when I only have one seat to choose. [outro] And human ignorance has also gone cr... actually never mind, that's nothing new. (Whoops, over 7 minutes... sorry 'bout that. But hey, you're still here :3)
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