Transcript:

Hey y'all. Welcome to my first regular video. Well, regular is subjective. I'll likely get bored of this very soon. But still, a man can dream. You're not a man. Yes I am, I have like, facial hair and... stuff. Define stuff. Well, it's kind of like facial hair, only um... With any luck, and a lot more luck... I should be able to churn out some paint-dryingly entertaining material every now and then. Anyway, down to business. You may notice that the title of this video is "new camera". Or is it?! Actually, the title is; new camera? I love question marks, they make everything so questiony. Moron. Anyway, as I was saying, the question mark serves two purposes. Firstly, since I lack a lot of actual meaningful stuff to say in this video, I can always spend about a minute talking about question marks. The second being, I don't actually have a new camera. Then why call it new camera? But that's ok, because I called this video new camera? not new camera. The question mark makes a big differnce. Notice the upward inflection at the end of the sentence. Getting a little bit higher. Going slightly squeaky. You spin my head right round, right round when you go. Well I don't actually have a new camera, but when you look back on all the episodes of my vlog, the first one will always read new camera. The question mark doesn't make it a lie and I still look awesome. Yeah because everybody wishes they had a video that implies they just got a new camera. Well I figure that the new title is always going to become very overused. Something like new camera just seemed to fit. People will think I only just started making really stupid videos because I got a new camera, when I'm actually just filming this on my laptop webcam. Which I've had for quite some time. Anyway, I need to get going since I've got Mardi Gras on tonight and I'm going to be simply fabulous. You, fabulous? Guiltyyyyyyyyyyy. Wow I haven't gotten that puffed out since last year's mardi gras. Oh wait. Anyway, I will catch you on the flip. Until next time, I'm Billy Moffat, and I'm going to unleash at Mardi Gras. Credits. Billy Moffat rulez all. Well, except for the music and Simpsons picture. They're from "System of a Down" and "The Simpsons" respectively. Oh, and the squeaky stuff was Alvin and the Chipmunks... duh. If you actually want to know who holds the intellectual rights to htem specifically, look it up. No seriously, they work hard for their money and what-not, the least you can do is care about their rights as artists. Have you acknowledged them yet? Do I have to do everything for you? I swear you're so dependent sometimes, it's pathetic. Fine! Oh yeah, and bt-dubs, I simply love your outfit. No really, the vertical lines hide your weight. Well sort of. Well not really. Ok fatty, you want the truth? Pass on the next muffin! Aww, I'm sorry baby, I didn't relaly mean that. Oh crap, I'm still filming. Umm... credits, credits... umm let me think. Oh yeah, I, Billy Moffat, made this *cough* awesome *cough* video. Copyright 2010, all rights reserved for handicapped parking only. No but seriously, I own this manure.